The Necklace From My Ex-Boyfriend

Hello Internet,

From time to time I put my thoughts down on the keys and they turn into words on my screen that can be shared with you. Today is one of those days. Often I am kept busy writing about a secretive people and their ways.

However today I was thinking about the importance of learning from your past mistakes as well as the things you did right.

Lately I have made a lot of mistakes when it has come to men, and it has been really a sad tale of terrible timing, and bad choices.

But being diagnosed as a Parasomniac has sort of made me reevaluate my life and what my goals are. Once upon a time I held a high standard for Men but lately it has slipped in the wake of my loneliness.

Yesterday my faith was restored that their are indeed good Men out in the world, and I now wear a necklace bought for me by an ex-boyfriend as a I reminder of what I deserve.

Now most people will think that I wear it to remind me that I deserve better than him, but in fact it is the opposite. I wear it to remind me that he is the benchmark, and men must treat me with at least the amount of respect and love he treated me with.

Yes unfortunately that relationship did not survive the ages, but it was a love that was pure and true. There were no games. I despise games, and recently I have been playing chess with Men.

That stops today.

I deserve a Man who is not afraid to be with me and enjoy my company, and he should be able to provide interesting conversation to me (not just be pretty).

I deserve a Man who has common interests to me, and thinks that what I like is cool and exciting.

I deserve a Man who won’t judge me for my weirdness, and will even be weird with me.

I deserve a Man who will challenge me and push me to be better.

 

I deserve a Man and one day I will find him, and it will be epic. It will be so epic that they will write a book about it and turn it into a Nicholas Sparks film. Cause those are tear jerkers :)

 

Now I am going back to writing my book. That maybe one day you will get to read. But for now internet, those are my thoughts. I hope you find an epic love, because they are amazing and I am currently waiting.

 

xoxo

Brooke

Codeine fueled writing spree

Now that i have decided on a back story I am comfortable with, it is time to begin writing the story and starting to flesh out some adventures and plot twists. However i just had a medical procedure done and was given pain killers.

Which i gladly have already taken!

However I am left with no excuses to put off writing and I will hence forth begin to write under the influence of codeine :)

Why ADHD Kids shouldn’t be writing Novels

So without much warning, or prior knowledge myself: my brain decided it had a story it wanted me to write. Now, besides a bit of diary work in Highschool I have never really wrote anything that wasn’t to get a good mark in school. So I am fairly new to this whole writing thing.

Now, I love Television shows and the ongoing story a lot. I love to think up stories in my head, and that helps me go to sleep. But until recently I never thought of myself as a ‘writer’. I am not the type of person to take my apple laptop to the local coffee shop and write.

I do love reading books, and I am constantly worried that the stories I want to tell people, no one will want to read.

But that is off topic.

At first I began to write and just see where the story led me, however I got stuck and had to start again.

While I know where I want the story to lead, I am having most trouble with the back story.

I tried to edit it, to see if I could find where I had gone wrong. In the end I scrapped the first draft and started again.

I kept a similar pretense but with a different take, however I ended in the same mud.

Now I was really starting to get frustrated and start to wonder if writing is not for me. However, deciding to take a complete opposite direction I have now been using a Character Development Guide to try and find my footing with my character.

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976908598 (It has been good so far)

Now that you have this vague understanding of what has happened to lead me to this point, I can grumble about my current troubles.

Some of these questions have really inspired me to dig into what my characters life would be like.

GOOGLE IS A DANGEROUS TOOL.

It is far too easy for a person with no focus to follow tangents down a long, narrow, dark path from which you cannot return.

Completely not related to anything I was originally researching, I spent several hours on the topic of horse racing in the UK. Something of which will not probably ever impact my life. However I can now tell you the difference between The National Hunt and Flat Racing. How crazy.

Anyways, now that I have ranted (yet another tangent that is not helping me get through my character development) I should probably get back to productivity. :/

 

xoxo

BJ

 

 

The Girl Crazies

Ok,

 

I will admit, I get the girl crazies. I hate that I get them. Generally stuff them away as fast as possible and tell little to no one about them. But recently I was wrongly told that I am crazy.

If in the correct context, I am completely open to “being crazy,” but when it is used as an insult, I would like to define why I am “crazy.”

I am a loud and confident person. I am ok with this, and if this is why you label me crazy then ok.

I like to blow off steam, because having to be serious all week long really puts a toll on my happiness. I don’t want to become depressed, so a little extra silliness in life is in order.

I love people and my loyalty to people cannot be bought. Only Earned. If you have earned my loyalty, you better believe it is because I think you are someone worth my loyalty.

With that said, if I am crazy, I think it is just because I am too much woman for a boy to handle. Bring me a man, and I doubt he will share your opinion.

 

xoxo

BJ

The Nature of Love

A world away, yet still you stir in my memories

I wish you the world, yet still you rummage through confusion

I feel the depth of the wound, which I inflicted

Nothing I can say will ever help you heal

Yet here you are in the forefront of my thought

 

The army watches you for me, but their track record is not so good

You grunt and sweat your days away, but where am I at the end of the day

Left with empty promises, I knew I could never keep

But your heart keeps beating and pressing on, you are my warrior

Yet here you are in the forefront of my thought

 

Anger consumed us both, yet no one was to blame

The fear and panic was all just our age

It was doomed from the start, but the destruction was too great

Imagine if honestly and understanding had changed our path

Yet here you are in the forefront of my thought

 

The call of the wild will press you on, bike away

The passion of nature will warm you at night, swim further

The honesty of the elements will give you strength, climb higher

The beauty of the landscape will humble you, stand still

Yet here you are in the forefront of my thought

 

Those hugs can never be replaced, I felt so safe

No one could match the conversations we had

No one will ever push me to be a better person like you

The time and space was just too great

Yet here you are in the forefront of my thought

 

Short and sweet, we filled the night with passion

Midnight poker games will be the whispers of legends

I can never repay those debts, or the deception in my eyes

Honesty will do no one any good, so we shall say farewell

Yet here you are in the forefront of my thought

 

Used we both feel, but for one brief moment, it was real

I would never have worked, but it was worth the try

I will remember your Jeep, and you my words of wisdom

A locker and a key, my heart was never for yours to keep

Yet here you are in the forefront of my thought

 

A chance meeting for sure, but a long romance it was

You had me wrapped around your finger, I believed it all

I hoped, I wished, I even tried to move the moon for you

But I guess that wasn’t enough for your lies and twisted truths

Yet here you are in the forefront of my thought

 

You swept me off my feet with just one glance

It felt like love at first sight, but was it

No matter how many tears I shed it won’t be me

Still I love you for your ambition and drive

Yet here you are in the forefront of my thought

 

To you the one I am yet to meet, I hope for the best

I refuse to let my past hurt control my life

I still give my trust freely, and seek out the passion in life

One day we will meet, and you will be perfect

And you will always be on the forefront of my thought

 

Loneliness for Two

Your eyes are so sad, as if you say goodbye

Is that your wit shining through

Not here or there, yet standing so sternly as if not to care

Bright is the future you once had

Where did that path go so bad

 

One day you will see two is the strongest we can be

And with out me all you will be is lonely

lonely

 

Out of reach

Out of touch

Out of your mind

Don’t you feel the loneliness

The world is not yours alone to bear

Ill carry it with you

 

Strong enough to sure the winds of worry

Ill steal the darkness from your night

All the fear from your mind shall be nevermore

yet you hold back and push me aside

 

One day you will see two is the strongest we can be

And with out me all you will be is lonely

lonely

 

Out of reach

Out of touch

Out of your mind

Don’t you feel the loneliness

The world is not yours alone to bear

Ill carry it with you

 

Here we are standing face to face

I feel as though I am no longer here or there

The beauty of your mind is impossible to understand

The hardest part is to just walk away, and let you be lonely

 

One day you will see two is the strongest we can be

And with out me all you will be is lonely

lonely

 

Out of reach

Out of touch

Out of your mind

Don’t you feel the loneliness

The world is not yours alone to bear

But your loneliness is no longer mine to care

 

Thanksgiving Turkey and All Part 1

Hello Cyberland,

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday of the year, and for that reason I am going to tell you how to create a wonderful thanksgiving! This year I will be celebrating Thanksgiving for 30 people. And will be doing most of the cooking by myself. It is a lot to ask, but it is not impossible! But if you are going to follow my advice, be prepared you are in for a 3 day cooking marathon!!

In this first post I will give you my list of traditional dishes (and a few extras) that I like to make for my guests!

Since in the great country of Australia I have adapted this so that we have Thanksgiving on a Sunday arvo.

Friday: Is desert day. These are made because they can last the longest in the fridge. But only make what you have to, assemble if necessary on the Sunday.

Pumpkin Pie, Cranberry Dessert, Pecan Pie, Apple Pie, Cranberry Sauce, Apple Sauce, Pavlova. Optional: Jello Salad can be made on the Friday as well.

Now I am making a Pavlova which is not at all traditional Thanksgiving desert, but it is a traditional Australian desert and I feel like this can be added to my list.

Also Note: Cranberry sauce and apple sauce are not deserts, but need to sit for a couple days, which is why they have been added on to the Friday cooking menu.

Saturday: This is cold food day. Salads and anything which does not need to be cooked and served hot should be attended to on Saturday. As well as the prep for most of your hot dishes for Sunday. This is to allow you time to set up on Sunday while you prepare your food.

Pasta Salad, Macaroni Salad, Potato Salad, Jello Salad, Green Salad (get ready but do not assemble), Broccoli Salad, Coleslaw.

Sunday: Is all about the Turkey. Everything else is just done around the Turkey. Now I do have a very hands on and in-depth recipe for the Turkey. If you do not have the full time to take care of the turkey, you may alternatively use a different recipe for your Turkey Needs.

Turkey, Gravy, Roasted Veggies, Garlic Mashed Potatoes,  Sweet Potato Casserole, Hushpuppies, Stuffing, Buttered Peas, Green Bean Casserol, Broccoli Casserole, Deviled Eggs, Corn Pudding, Mac & Cheese Bake, Potato Gratin.

Things to remember on Sunday is that you need to bake your turkey on the highest rack possible, so that you can bake your other items at the same time. Or alternatively if you can use two ovens simultaneously.

This Thanksgiving I will be having 2 turkeys. One I am going to Bake in the over, basting every hour. The second Turkey I will be taking to a chicken shop and having them Deep Fry it for me. :) If you are in the USA you can often go buy a large deep frying pot and do your own Turkey.

This week I will try and put up some of the recipes I will be using this year.

 

xoxo

BJ

Jerry the Giraffe

I loved Jerry, and that was the one thing I wanted. I have asked for him over and over. But apparently my family does not take me seriously, since he was given away today.

Yes, I am shedding tears. This is a really painful thing for me to go through. I love the Giraffe and all the memories that were a part of that piece of wood. It represented a part of my life that I will always miss and love. And it is gone now. Never to be returned to me. It is almost like that part of my life died. I feel like it has been ripped from my chest and crushed.

Yes I realise the Irony of how the giving away of a wooden giraffe is more painful than most of the breakups or rejections I have ever had.

I am going to miss Jerry.

xoxo
BJ

Don’t Judge Me

Big Time Rush – Windows Down

Throw it up, woo hoo!

You’re pretty baby, but you know that
Wish I could bring ya, across the map (yeah)
I can feel it in the air that it’s on tonight
I don’t really care if it’s wrong or right
Pedal to the metal baby holds me tight
Anything you want I can get that girl
If you’re with that girl

Everybody knows that I want ya
If you want me baby show me
Roll the windows down let your hair flow
Let it all go tonight

Party people!

Woo hoo, all the windows down
Woo hoo, when I’m rolling through your town (Woo hoo)
Saying yeah yeah, Woo hoo
Saying yeah yeah

You drive me crazy, but you know that
Feel the breeze girl, let’s take a lap (yea)
I can feel it in the air that it’s on tonight
I don’t really care if it’s wrong or right
Pedal to the metal baby holds me tight
Anything you want I can get that girl
If you’re with that girl

Everybody knows that I want ya
If you want me baby show me
Roll the windows down let your hair flow
Let it all go tonight

Party people!

Woo hoo, all the windows down
Woo hoo, when I’m rolling through your town (Woo hoo)
Saying yeah yeah, Woo hoo
Saying yeah yeah

[Beat break]

It’s on tonight
It’s on tonight
It’s on. . . tonight

Woo hoo, all the windows down
Woo hoo, when I’m rolling through your town (Woo hoo)
Saying yeah yeah, Woo hoo
Saying yeah yeah

Woo hoo, all the windows down
Woo hoo, when I’m rolling through your town (Woo hoo)
Saying yeah yeah, Woo hoo
Saying yeah yeah
Woo hoo!